If you make a flight attendant a project manager

stewardessShe will announce this at project kick off:

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Holly, and I am your project manager, project number 7432: non stop project thru winter. The sponsor has turned on the project budget sign. If you haven’t already done so, please cancel all your vacation, after work sports and dates with your spouse and stow away your hobbies underneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead bins.”

“Our project duration will be four months and two days.”

“At this time, make sure your chairs are in full upright position. Also make sure that your laptops are securely fastened. Also, we advise that you, that as of this moment, turn off your smart phone and Facebook updates.”

All project team members turn their attention to the project manager. 

“When the project start sign illuminates, you must fasten your laptop to the desk. Insert the metal fittings into the other and tighten by pulling on the loose end. We suggest you keep your laptop fastened at all times, as we may experience turbulence during the project.”

“There are several emergency exits for this project. Two during design , two during execution and one at deploy time.”

In the event of a project red status, an oxygen mask will be provided to the project team. To start the flow of oxygen , pull the mask towards you. Secure your mask first, then save the developers, then the business analyst, then the testers and finally if you have time the project manager.”

“A contingency budget is located under your seat. You may not use it unless approved by the sponsor.”

“We remind you that that is a non negotiable project schedule. Tampering with, disabling or destroying any project deliverable located in the lavatories is prohibited by law. ”

“You will find all other project information in the seat pocket in front of you. We wish you an enjoyable project.”

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One Response to If you make a flight attendant a project manager

  1. Pingback: My favorite posts of 2012 | Future Of Project Management

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